Dead Man Tells no Tale
by Jose The Insane 777
Summary: Here is a what i call a somewhat a official background story. This story tells about Russell life before moving to Happy Tree town and how Russell was involve in the W.A.R. I will make other background story of The HTF Crew and OC's that are famous. i will write a story explain there age, clothing, and interest ETC. Also a story about the world of HTF and its history.


**(A/N **This is going to be a series of the _Happy Tree Friend _background story (History). Where am going to write background to each of the character, and OC's that have been most infamous in the htf world. I don't own the character they are property of Mondo media and of other. Some I do own)

"Dead Man Tells No Tale, Neither Does a Woman"

A "Russell the otter" Background Story

Date and Time: March 21, 1981 Baton Rouge, Louisiana In Louisiana the night are always clam and very humid with an atmosphere of peace. With the exception of buzzing mosquito and snapping crocodile and piranhas, except their always an expectation when Louisiana has to have it worst time.

It is a stormy night and most people have docked there ship or weighed anchor. The local all knew that you either needed a large ship to get past storms like these, or be stupid enough to go on your own into the sea. But In docks is a sip and in the deck of a ship is a man in yellow rain slicker, with black rubber boots, and a Gloucester Hat. He seem to be in his late fifty's with a stubbles and blue sea foam hair.

He just standing there, smoking his wooden pipe and staring off to the dark stormy horizon. He then dump out the content from his pipe and puts is pipe into one of his coat pocket. He then looks down like a child being embarrassed in front of their parents. He then looks up and sighs then final says something.

"I really wish you were here rose, I need help" said the strange man. He was thinking how horrible this weekend has been, when his thought where interrupted by voice. "Hello master Russell" came a voice behind him. He then turned to see a man who was holding out an umbrella to him. "Ah, hello to you too Dock Monster" chuckled Russell knowing the dock master would be furious for using his nickname children gave him.

It not that the dock mastered hated children, he just scowl them to their parent for messing with him during working hour. But getting to feel bad as the weather, he says with an attitude of seriousness "sorry old…." But starting to get tired of people always apologizing to him, he cut him off "well at least I got a real job, unlike you and your family of misfit"

Take a moment to realize what he just said, he was choking on his own word to apologize. But was interrupted by Russell hand on his shoulder. "It okay don't forgive yourself" he said as he patted his back "beside I just got it ruff up like this storm." He then turn around to continue on what he has doing, previously before he was interrupted.

"Russell we miss you." Taken aback on what he said to him, Russell was surprised when he said "_We_" meaning the whole town. He and his family of "_Misfit_" were infamous around the Caribbean Sea and the Mississippi river of Louisiana. They were pirates, and he & his family loved it.

All of his family membered love the occupation. "_No" _he thought"_ It not an occupation, it's a way of life." _All his family member loved _the way of life _except one, his first son. He started to remember the weekend like watching a sunset. His thought was then interrupted by the dock master still covering Russell head with his umbrella.

"Do you think that Junior is going to go rogue like this town's name" said the dock master as he started to head inside for shelter from the storm. "No, I think he is going rogue on us all" yelled as loudly enough to wake up the dead.

He remembered when he was born, he had a giant string of hair standing up on its own curled up just like his father. When he was twenty seven, he got married to his employer, a waitress. His father was not proud of this but at the end he expected it any way. "Beside it was his high school sweetheart" He thought remember the day she started to work for them at their restaurant.

He was still in college, but he would come over in the weekend. But the real reason he come over was to see his high school sweet heart, petunia. He was so red when he tried to teach her how to use the cash register. He was mumbling with his word when he was trying to give out the instruction out. And He ended up nose bleeding from all being too much embarrassed. He chuckled at the thought, then sadden because his mother wasn't there to help him with his girl problem. She died two years before he graduated college.

She was taking out a rowboat out to sea after that she never returned. Five days later after the search party were being low on moral to continue. Something horrifying happen, "_they found her all right_" Russell thought as his fist were balling up in rage. She was tied to the mast of a half sunken ship. With her lower half cut off and replaced by a manatee tail. She also had her hair unbraided covering her bare chest.

"_Red beard" _thought Russell as his hands were shaking. Red Beard was just some Black-Beard-Wannabe, but he was ruthless with his torture methods. Except he was timid by rose way of pirating. She would be cruel to first class snobs, but also took heart for the 3rd class. And take them with them on their ship so that they wouldn't be stranded with the "Snobs" to starve and die.

But red beard a different case, he like to torture them in creative methods. His methods to beautiful women that reject him, like rose. Making women into real life mermaid killing them in the processes.

But ever since that day, Russell the second is concerned about his pirate life. But sure we got six year college degree thought Russell as he was relaxing his fist; after hitting a seagull nested on dock shaft only Turing out to be a statue. _"And we own a fish market and restaurant", _actually they own one fourth of all fish market & restaurant of all south of Louisiana.

But Russell conversation always ended the same. "_Is it because of your wife who's expecting your child, or just because you just hate me and all pirate_" he thought as he been asking that question for the last nine month. It wasn't until this month that something that dropped heavier moral, than a mother being killed in front of her own son.

"I'm joining the Navy" said the second Russell. There was a silent moment, then someone started to laugh then the whole crew (Family member) started to laugh too. "I'M SERIOUS YOU GUYS" yelled Russell as he got a shiny badge out of his pocket. The laughing ceased as dead daggering eyes were all looking at the badge. It was a military police for navy officers, but to pirate they were cops on high-seas.

"Everyone just clam down" and with all his might Russell the first separated the second and his attacker apart. After the fistfight has settled down which consisted of one crew member getting at it with the second Russell for his "amazing news". Russell the first came up to the second and slap him. And ask "So you really Hate Pirate, don't ya boy". The second nodded, "so why don't you just kill me" the first was taken aback on what the second said. "How about you just go to your new family traitor" someone yelled out on the boat house far but near the group. Soon following the command the second ran off jumping into the water.

Since the pressmen (Russell family surname) were genetic human (A/N Will explain in another story) he could be under water for more than a day if he wants. Not to be brother by the outside world, but the second he got into the water; he swam as fast a shark through the water to a house off the beach. Closing the door behind him as he enter the building.

Russell memory were interrupted by a screaming of his names. "Oh god please let it be my wife ghost" crying at his joke that was bad as the storm which was getting worst by the minute. He then hear a familiar voice saying a strange word to his ears "DAD"

It wasn't weird for him to hear these word because he had at least twenty seven children. And not counting the other twenty three adoptive he and rose adopt from ships they invade. They would sometimes adopted children age of 3-16, only if the children would say yes. Sometimes they would join cause they were orphaned working aboard, other cause they hated their rich life and wanted adventure.

But returning to the scene, he sees his first son carrying his wife who is surprisingly not wearing any rain gear, but just a nightgown. "What are you two doing out in this storm get inside" he yelled forgetting the moment and more worried about his first grandchild health. Again he did have grandchildren but they were adoptive also, they adopted them because they found them on the street. Other, cause Russell children where either sterile or just didn't want to do the labor process.

"LABOR" the second yelled. "What" "Labor" "What do you mean Labor "As petunia raised her head she yelled out "It means I am giving birth right now, right here" then going back down looking to the floor.

5 minutes later

They were at the road, only to be furious by the sight that the road was flooded. The clinic was at least on the other end of the road. "Maybe we can get a boat and cross it" commented Russell the second.

"Unless you have a flat boat, you will just still be in ground" replied the first.

"Then how about a row boat" the second Sayed as he pointed to a group of row boat.

"No not that either, the current too strong we'll be swept away before we even start rowing"

"Then what do we do"

"Let's go back to the dock" as the first started Turing the car they were in around "what why" "you'll see" as the first smirked

5 minutes

There is a radio inside a shack playing the song "_Ring of Fire_" and also inside is the familiar face of an old man, the dock master. He was inside just wearing yellow overall and a black sweater with it. His feet had a weird feature it had small fins on each side. "Ahhhhhhh" He was groaning in relaxation while smoking his pipe "it good to lets these sea leg out once in a while."

Just then the door of the shack flew wide open. "God Damn this storm" said master stork (A/N stork was the close aquamarine animal I could think of that rhymed with dock) "this storm is going to be a killer if I don't …." Stork stopped his word when he who was standing at the door.

"Russell…" stork drifted off as he saw who else was behind him "petunia, junior" He then notice that all of them are drenched in sweat and rain. He also notice petunia nightgown was drenched in the lower abdomen area. "Oh god, is it coming isn't" They all nodded and the dock master fainted. "Well….. Yea-hah" the group started at him deeply with annoyance. "Oh right, and I can guest the hospital roads are flooded, yes" said stork as he settled down.

They all nod and carefully set down petunia on to a table. "Well sure I can do it, I done this before, heck I did to your mother junior when your mom was…." Stork was interrupted by a scream coming from petunia. "Please can we just get the baby out it hurts" as petunia has placing a sheath between her teeth to grind. "Okay but this will take time" said stork as he was pointing out to the other what he needed for the processes.

"Uggh" groaned Russell the first "this is going to be a long night"

Three hour

"Ohwaaaaaaa ohwaaaaaa oh oh ohwaaaaaaa" "It a girl" said stork as he handed a pen knife to the father to cut the umbilical cord. "Are sure this is safe" said the second as he started sawing off the umbilical cord. "Sure it is, your father did it to you" said stork as he gave a bottle of water to petunia, who has fainted just a moment ago.

"Now what the girl name going to be" said stork as he swiped the sweat off his forehead. "Well my dad and I were going to name it Russell if it was a boy" the second Sayed as he put his down eying his dad from the corner of the eye. Not trying to bring back the thought of what happen last weekend. "Well you got to think of a name, or I am just going to call it patty" stork said as he got out a pen and paper.

"How about Rosalind Russell pressman" said a strange weary voice? All head turn to see petunia awake with her pink & white stand of hair was covering her face.

"Rosalind, why that" asked both Russell in unison. They have both been thinking in case it was a female that it should be rose name. Now both thinking about the name they might think petunia is having the idea to name her daughter after rose. "Cause it rhyme with Russell …. Kind of"

Awed and disappointed with answer they both look down to the floor. Both thinking that the women must have been playing with their emotions. What a terrible manner they thought. Toying with a deceased person name.

"That and…." She said as she smiled big "And it kind of close to your mom's name" All heads turn to her and then to each other, surprised that she was actually considering that name after a dead woman. And that she made them feel that their emotion was toyed.

"I thinks it's a great name" interrupted stork who thought the atmosphere was getting a bit weird. Both Russell look to each other and nodded "then it's settled" said stork as he threw away the pen and grabbed an ink jar & quill "in the name of the lord and code of piracy, I name thee Rosalind Russell Pressmen."

1 hour

"So you're going to leave your wife all alone" said Russell the first. "No, I am just going to be gone time to time" said Russell the second as he stared past his dad and on to a room where a crying baby who is being tried to be put to sleep "besides, am going to send money"

"Well…." The first was spacing out trying to think what to say "well just make sure you can come to your own daughter birthday every year." "Yeah I try" as he said this he was embraced with a hug by his father.

"I know we had are differences over the years" the first said as he patted his back "but I know you and I have the same idea as family." Surprised that his old man saying this he also pats his back. "Yeah I know dad" said the first as he stopped hugging and picked up a packed duffle bag. "And I promise you this is the greatest choice I made for the family."

8th month before present day

"Heh, yay the greatest choice for the family my foot" growled a person with blue sea foam hair that has a single lock of hair tied almost at the end with small band.

The person also wearing a tricorn captains hat with a Jolly Roger symbol on the front. Wearing a red and white raggedy shirt and an oversize sea captains coat. Wearing dark navy blue pants, but the weirdest feature is a pirate hook on the person right hand, two peg leg instead of boots, and an eye patch. The persons seems to be at age of early thirty.

The person Memory are then interrupted by a deep but friendly smoothing voice. "Hey, Russell how you been" said a sky blued hair teen. It Russell best friend, lumpy. "Just good you" said Russell. "Nothing much just that the girls invited us to a sissy tea party."

"_That sounds like fun, but I can't reveal lumpy my true gender." _Thought Russell which is seem that Russell was actually Rosalind Russell "_oh but I can't reveal who am or they will come for me and kill me." _ Russell then got the thought of her love interest, lumpy, getting torture in front of her to break.

She that she was thinking about lumpy and her"_ uggh, why would I think that, sure I love him but not that much"_ she then starts to remember the day and years of her great change.

How she remember how she came to Happy Tree Town, and why she changed her identity to a male version of herself. "_Red beard" _she thought of the name that caused her so much grief and pain that help her became the friendly pirate of Happy Tree Town.

**(A/N **If you have question about this please pm me or write it out in the review. But one question I will question this isn't a gender bender I feel that Russell was a female to begin with. i mean search up Russell Anime All I need now is one chapter to finish this. Please review or follow, next story is disco bear.)

Lone the wolf(My HTF OC that is me) :Welcome to the...*Staring off to the distant*

Rosalind: why is my name Rosalind*swinging a bat*

LTW: well you see i thought that they need human name,but i didn't want to get rid of their originally name.

Rosalind: so you name me the close to Russell*swinging bat at Mic*

Outlook i am going to make a story of me teaching Fanfic Study 101 *Grabbing book* and i will explain the story and world of human htf.

LTW: i will also explain other things like Fox X bunny theory

Rosalind:*Confused*

LTW: *Shouting* I WILL EXPLAIN

Jeff the killer:Hey we didn't get are moment to talk *Throwing a knife to me)

ALL:Please review or follow


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